A frank admissionJosé Mourinho, the Real Madrid manager, has admitted that he does not spend much time with his family, but he stressed that his wife and children enjoy their lives more when he is not with them.
The Portuguese coach has been with his wife and childhood sweetheart Matilde “Tami” Faria for more than 35 years, and together they have two children, Matilde, 30, and José Mário Junior, 26.
Yet his family rarely travelled with him around Europe during 25 years in charge of Benfica, Porto, Chelsea, Manchester United, Roma, Inter Milan and Real Madrid.
He lived alone at the Lowry hotel in Manchester for the greater part of his time there. His children spent most of their upbringing at the family home in west London while Mourinho was on the road.
Mourinho, aged 63, said in a new documentary film on the Netflix platform: “Sometimes you feel that I should be there, but I am not there. But I do not want you to think that the family means something less important to me. They are in a place that cannot even be compared to football.”
He added: “But to tell the truth, I know they enjoy life much more without me. That is real. That is true. If they go to a restaurant with me, it is different from going without me.”
Tami often gets the credit from Mourinho for his success as a coach.
As their pictures appeared on the screen, he said: “I try to protect them as much as I can, but of course I fail many times. It is not easy.”
He continued: “Tami is a wonderful mother, and they understand that what I am in football is my way of life. They have to understand that. You push me to talk about myself, which is something I do not want.
He went on: “I think your happiness and your unhappiness and your problems, you leave them at the door of the training ground. Maybe this is an old-fashioned way of looking at things, but this is me, and in the end I do not want to change. It is too late.”
Talk of his career comes far more easily, and of the coaching work at clubs such as Inter Milan, Chelsea and Real Madrid, where he achieved great success. He has now returned to Real Madrid for a second spell as coach.
In the documentary series he jokes that he is “calm” while walking along the sea coast, carrying two mobile phones to make calls and send messages to his team about matches and deals.
Football is everything to him, as he explained after his return to Real Madrid: “Football is work that consumes me. This is who I am. No gardening, no cooking, no cleaning, no golf, no racket sports, nothing.”
He also does not mind playing the villain, nor does he shy away from controversy, insisting that he feels no regret over his criticism of the referee Anders Frisk, who later received death threats and retired from refereeing after a controversial 2005 Champions League match between Chelsea and Barcelona.
Mourinho commented on this: “People say I spoke too much after that match, but I would do the same thing again. This is my way. So I am not nice. I am not nice. That is how things are.”
Asked how he felt about admitting that he is not a nice person, he added: “I do it out of pride, and you think you are helping your team achieve results.”
